refund

I got my refund for school. Doesn't quite make up for the amount I recently spent so that I can get to school and back (car). This makes me sad and anxious for future financial concerns. Will I be able to support myself? Will I be able to afford school and expenses next year without using all my savings?

Conclusion: money sucks. I feel so incredibly anxious when I have money related thoughts. Do I even spend money on frivolous things? What constitutes frivolity anyways? If it makes me happy and less stressed then is it really frivolous because psychologically it was worth it, right?

I feel like every semester I look at the money I spent on school, the money I have left designated for school and all the stuff I want to buy and my stomach just squeezes.

What do I even want to buy? big things recently (teeth cleaning without insurance, car fixing so I can be mobile, glasses for the first time in 6 years). Smaller things recently (food, snacks, dates, presents for people). Most of my disposable income goes to food and food related entertainment. Perhaps this could be mismanaging my resources but I like to go out too and I need quick snacks as well and I DO have to feed myself, in whatever manner that happens to be. Maybe if I was miserly and miserable I could only spend my money on necessary and cheap food options but I have this weird psychological effect that I DESERVE to go out and spend my money on food, that I DESERVE to have a good time, and that I DESERVE to do what other normal people anywhere and my age do. It gets especially bad when I work and see other people come in to my restaurant and have a good time and spend money on 'frivolous' food outings. I want that. I want to be the one having fun. Perhaps I just have too much time to be hungry for fancy food. The dilemma becomes then, if I do deserve this food and times then do I spend the extra money on it?