a whole weekend of leg spreaders, skittles, and pineapple upside down shots

As you dear readers know I recently turned 21. A milestone in the US because as anyone under the age of 50 is aware, that is the legal drinking age here (excluding Puerto Rico). My first legal drink the US was a mai tai from the sketch Bahi Hut on 41. This was not my first legal drink, having traveled to England and Israel, where they have more sense and don't try to stifle the natural urge to imbibe and experience life under the influence. Whereas many people here drink illegally as underage persons and so take more risks while drinking or acquiring said liquor, other countries are more open to the fact that at 18 or younger with parents (referencing England here) would like to drink a glass of wine with dinner or sip a beer with friends. I go to college, every Friday, Saturday, Tuesday, and Thursday evening I am surrounded by drunks and near drunks and people getting drunk, so I am no stranger to the consequences of alcohol. Where am I going with all this? That I had a whole weekend long of celebrating my legality to purchase and drink alcohol!!!!

Olive Garden 

this is how I regularly dress

My second daiquari!!!

shots! Skittle and Leg Spreader

I play drunk really well, don't I?

my first ever legal drink!!! mai tai!

pineapple upside down shot

Just need to add first that this was the best birthday I have ever had and I was so glad I got to celebrate it with those I love. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and will remember it forever as a turning point in my life, the next milestone in life being 25 when I can rent a car?

my best friends!!! Thanks Casey

Friday night I worked but everyone kept wishing me a happy birthday and to be careful and drink lots and whatnot. The owners even wished me a good time and "Happy birthday, now get back to work." I had promised my manager that I would close but they cut me early and everyone let me leave without doing the requisite tons of sidework, even though I offered. Yay for good karma! I made bucko bucks and got the hell outa there with some nice chicken parmesan to load up on some carbs for the night ahead. I drove down to the mall, flying down I75 with the wind in my hair and the deadmau5 blaring to meet my boyfie and share dinner. Met up with Volvo Ben and had a good laugh in the parking lot and reluctantly left Gdawg to get ready for a night out.

Being super chilly, I decided to dress more warm than sexy and had on black leggings covered by short jean shorts and a tye dye polka dotted shirt and my black leather jacket with my super awesome (Dar's in fact) black knee high boots with the blue flames. I did some minimal makeup and grabbed Heather and sat in Ham waiting for midnight and my best friend to come pick us up. Midnight sounded and I was too excited, telling Heather, "Be right back, I gotta do this," I stepped outside and yelled, "I'm 21!!! Wooohoo" Did I tell you my childhood friend from Washington knows me as the 'woohoo girl?'

Our first stop and my first drank was a mai tai from the Bahi Hut. Total sketch place but hell, they checked my id, the bouncer said happy birthday, as did the bartender. I attempted and sorta succeeded at tying a knot with the cherry stem only using my mouth and kept the fruit sword as a souvenir. We paid and said farewell to Heather and headed to our next stop, in search of the famed pineapple upside down shot that Nicole insisted on buying for me. I was fine at stopping at the one mai tai, but hell free drinks? Sure thing buddy! We ended up at the Banana Factory, an oddity I have always seen from the road and tacked for a gay bar, especially seeing the enormous gorrilla outside. Upon entering we were met by light country music and middle aged folk. Sitting at the bar we got our shots , Me and Nicole that is and I got a birthday shot!!!! Yay bartender! They were good too. This ended our night and we headed back to the dorms. So ends party numero 1 for me.

Sleep brought a new day and a new party. Heather wanted to take me out for lunch so I could buy a drank at a restaurant just like I had gotten her partially drunk at the daiquari deck at 2 in the afternoon on her 21st in November. We met at the Olive Garden and I ordered a peach daiquari that was delish! 5 soup, salad, and breadsticks later we parted ways again. I hung out with my boyfriend's best friends and we went all over town, the petstore and such places as Tijuana flats for the cookie dough flautas. On my way back to New College I stopped at the liquor store on 41 next to Memories Lounge and bought a bottle of shampaggin.

Party number 3 was up, the big one, the one I had been planning for a month, it was all Casey's planning, love ya Casey! He's such a great friend, he promised to take me out for my birthday back in like October with his mum's buddies at Siesta Key to barhop. They picked me up at 8 from New College  and we went to our first bar of the night, Daiquari deck for a famous daiquari! I got a strawberry shortcake, yum! + some fries to get my carb intake up for the night ahead. It was even colder on this night and I had this idea of wearing footy pajamas but I don't own any sadly so I stuck with my belly dancing black flare pants over bright hot pink tights, my black leather mid-calf boots, and a red collared shirt over a velvet material tank top, with requisite leather jacket over all of that. Casey's mom's friends drank with us and accompanied us over to Gilligan's across the street (no carding!) and bought me a shot of the bartender's choice, a leg spreader and Nicole a skittle. I ended up drinking both, I loved the skittle! and we split some chicken tenders before heading towards the Beach House for some dancing and more drinking! This is where the night became epic! Casey bought the next drinks, apple pie shots which weren't my favorite, being cinnamon flavored but I drink mine and Nicole's and we hit the dance floor. I danced and partied it up and was given another, random? shot by Casey's mommy. It tasted good, I drank that one kind of rapidly.

Not much more happened, except a drunken/tipsy crowd of men started to form around the dance floor, drinks in hand or dropped on the floor. There was an old man, about 65+ who danced like a young chick, all by himself. A random red-headed guy tried to grab my shoulder as I was walking back to the dance floor from the restroom and so Nicole acted as my body-guard/bouncer and kept the drunkards at bay. Eventually I got tired, not too late either and we left for a stint at New College and the rave room. The contrast between New College parties and real-world parties is very interesting to me. I finished my night with my wonderful boyfriend, a year older; happy and content to have been in the company of loved ones.

I'm addicted

to affection, in the form of: personal attention, hugs, physical contact...

I can't let this addiction rule my life. Self-control must be implemented. I can already see my future being overrun with the need for affection, but I have other concentrations in my life.

weird fun fact: I love the smell of men's deodorant

Someone needs to smack some sense into me.

I need to sleep

random guy 1: "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Random guy 2: "You wouldn't do anything."

comeback left thought but unsaid: "nice fuzzy dice."
witty comeback left unthought and unsaid: "we're twins."
actually funny comeback: ""

so I really thought there existed the phrase, "dick it out." like you know "fight it out." but apparently I just got it wrong. like always.

catchphrases are cool.

I wonder what any of this will mean to me in a year or 10 or 2 days. I read a post from this last week and half of it made no sense. Whatever will I do with myself?

Hugs

are the shit.

online

I'm slightly worried that my profile on this online dating website thinks that a match for me would be a female when I specifically put in my requirements that they be a straight male. What does this mean. Does the internet know something that I don't? Not just one person either, there were two girls recommended to me and of course I was super curious and did a cursory check and now it shows to them that I checked them out. um ok then.

Where was it that I heard the internet was a scary place?

hint: the more I text on my phone and the better grammar I use, it means I like you more because I'm a lazy person and my phone is antiquated and takes forever to text properly

also: see this is how my mind goes, sprinting and tripping everywhere as fast as possible to get to the next topic.

btw: somehow the equals key on my keyboard doesn't work and I have this sneaky suspicion that it has to do when I was programming a command key in my computer speaking thing.

It is almost 11:11. A time I observe whenever I notice it. What to wish for today? I guess I can't wish the same thing :) here it is!

a new day

So today was different. I guess I'm just going to assume that certain people won't or don't read my blog and post willy nilly about them and if they do happen to read it, so what. I'm trying to be as open as possible and anything anyone wants to know I'll tell them. Communication is so important and face to face conversations have tantamount importance in maintaining relationships. I went on my first date as a newly single lady and enjoyed myself immensely. It's always so fun and interesting hearing about someone new. He's definitely no serial killer :P

I just started self-censorship, sorry blog. I told said date what I was doing and since I have trails leading to this blog in connection to myself I decided not to write all my feelings and insecurities.

And now for something completely different....
     When I grow up (I don't consider myself grown up until I completely support myself and can provide food and shelter for myself i.e. have my own house/apartment and career job) I want to have cats and a snake or two and perhaps a dog. I'm not sure about the dog because I feel I won't be able to give it adequate affection and I wouldn't want the animal to suffer from my lack of attention. I do love dogs but I imagine I wouldn't spend too much time at home and cats are fine by themselves, they can entertain each other, but dogs need the love that humans give.

random

I love it when I know someone well enough to imagine them saying something in their own voice when I read something they have written. I bet my most used word is something. How is it that I can be so ambiguous yet it is so concise in my mind? I don't know. Was that even a rhetorical question? Are you allowed to answer your own rhetorical question? In other news, I want to find someone to paint my entire body, call to artists?

boys

I like them. I admit. I also like to write about them, hence this posting and the referential posting and all the hullabaloo about them. To start off, they are great. Nice to look at, nice to talk to, even nice to play with sometimes. I seem to get romantically interested in unavailable men though, tough luck to me. This is why I secretly dislike homosexuals, because they are awesome and I'm attracted to them and they.... are not available or attracted to me but I guess that's part of the appeal. I can be myself without them misconstruing what I do for an appeal for sexual attention. damn society! Anywho I've lost myself again. I like boys. When I use the word "boys" I don't refer to young men (sub 18?) but to males in general (+ 18  thank you very much). I like the word 'boy,' it has a soft cozy feeling. I love curly hair on guys, it is so nice to just play with. I'm always sad when guys with gorgeous hair get it cut. Boys who wear nice fitting jeans are also awesome, and when I say this I have a boy in mind, he is so pretty when he walks around without his shirt, barefooted, and his perfect fitting blue jeans with the soft cloth belt looped and left hanging on his waist. He has such an interesting belly button too and his walk is quite distinct. Also, hugs. Hugs are soul food. The slightly longer than appropriate hug is the secret way of saying "hey you are super cute and hug fantastically and I like you a lot." There's this one guy who gives awesome hugs. When I hug him, all I'm thinking is, nothing actually. I have an internal smile and when it's over I can't think of the mechanics of the hug or how it happened, what hand went where etc. but only that I want another one because it was so perfect. GIVE ME MORE HUGS!

me duele

You know, it does hurt. It hurts that you don't care to take a little time and seek out my attention. It hurts that you really never made that much effort. It hurts that I'm not worth that effort. I try not to let it hurt, but all I'm doing is deadening my reaction to future interests. I make up excuses for you all the time but still I see you making that effort for someone else and it just hurts inside and I want to go crawl into a little hole and be sad. I want to either disappear from the world while observing it or get hugs and cuddles. How is it that I want to be super social and super touchy-feely but at the same time hide from the world? Perhaps I just want to hide from my troubles but be comforted at the same time. I know you don't really care or don't have the capacity to understand or whatnot but still I just wish something would change. I want change. I want to wrench it from the distant future and stab it repeatedly until it relents to my control. I'm tired of being passive but I'm also tired and scared of being up front and in your face to get results, yet either way I'm not getting results. So, what's wrong? I'm too young? I go to a small college? I don't go out enough? I intimidate people? I don't want to play games, I don't want to wrap my mind around convoluted mating rituals. Just tell me straight up and you know what, most of the time I would say yes.

classes

I must be daft because I want to take 6 classes and a kind of internship this next semester. 5 classes is abnormal, 4 is recommended, 6 is a lot for New College. I want to continue with Chinese, I don't want to stop, I need the momentum in a language class, even if I don't do well in the class I don't care because just continuing to study achieves my goal. In that same vein I want to continue spanish with the Advanced Spanish class-the novella and with that I want to take the Spanish advanced seminar class offered in English because I have decided to slash in Spanish and to fit in everything I will have full semesters, no more f-ing around (not that I have been because since my second semester I have taken 4.5-5 classes a semester while working 10-20 hours a week at my outside job and doing various other activities. I'm not lazy or stupid, just an overachiever and lack the ability to make hardcore decisions regarding my future. I don't want to just do Psychology or Spanish so I'm doing both? Why? Just because I don't want to close doors on either possibility. So to fit in all the requirements means taking lots of both classes. Which means realistically I should drop Chinese but NO!!!! I want to continue. So I also I want to take abnormal psychology (something I've wanted to take for a while anyways) and research methods (apparently the most difficult psych class offered?). So in fact that is 5 quite advanced and tedious and time consuming and potentially fun and distressing all at the same time classes. On top of that (here we go again I know) I want to do something out in the community with Spanish. I'm not sure what exactly, perhaps working with little kids who don't speak or with adults who only speak Spanish. Something useful and fun and not academic at all but helpful with my linguistic spanish communication skills. I have decided that If I do all this I will definitely (promise to self) either take a hiatus from my waitressing job or quit entirely or only work Saturday nights. Since my work job has been really stressful lately I know I can't do lots of schoolwork and keep up at my job all the hours they want me to work. If they don't want me to just work 1 day a week then fuck them. I've worked there for 2 years and I don't need to put up with the stress and dumb shit they put me through all the time. I can get another job if need be or even go back after this semester. Having a job makes me feel more stable monetarily but I will be getting money back from the school and if I budget wisely I can live by it. Anyways I'll be so busy I won't have the time to spend money I don't have. Or even better, if I could just do a couple jobs for my dad I would make a lot of money only working a few hours and be satisfied with my financial situation and my academic life. The only thing that needs to be worked with/on then is my romantic life. Any available men out there still?

Conversating

I am not good at online conversating. I always make the assumption that they are really not that interested in responding and so I try to delve my way through a conversation that has little to no meaning in the hopes that they will act really interested for no reason so I can breathe easier and chatter like it's 20 degree weather outside. Wow, ok maybe I shouldn't try to write what's the word, when you compare something to something else, erm. Why does this happen, it is like (haha!) and yes I did just fgi, sigh, metaphor. In my defense I did fall on my head as a child. anywho, before I attempt more metaphors I-oh my-I just thought about that. and again I fail. Simile. and yes I am in college and no I am not taking any English classes, as you can probably tell. And once again I am off topic and must read my opening to get back on track or just continue willy nilly spouting whatever happens to pop into my head... There's this boy ( I know-there's always "this boy" but seriously) there's this boy and I've been trying to talk to him and since I don't see him much in person I try to just engage in some simple online conversating with skype and facebook. Because (clears throat) psychologically speaking: one is more likely to like someone if they interact or are presented with the person more. That was phrased horrendously. If someone thinks of you more (this can be incited by talking to them) they may be more likely to like you. Still phrased funny but I think you can get the picture. So I have been just saying some things to him and as I mentioned before I try not to I guess I would say bother him too much by it, waiting to see if he's actually interested in talking to me which I guess is mighty dumb because he seems like a straightforward guy and if he was bothered by me or by me talking to him then he would say so, right?

something new, English

time to redo. Not a New Year's revolution. Not a crisis. Just different. It's easier to communicate my thoughts in English, they are not bound by the conclusiveness of a language that I don't know every nook and cranny of. I need the precision that English affords but the ambiguity it leaves in its wake (see this doesn't make any real sense now does it :). However, I am aware that I lack the ability or rather motivation to remain consistent in the blogosphere. I am not keen on projects that lack that end-goal, such as the life of a musician or a strict diet, something one must always be thoughtful of. Life should be more spontaneous and joy should come from the doing, rather than the practical drudgery that accompanies doing the same thing all the time.

I am not nor have I really ever been normal. That is to say, who has? What is normal. The internet, in its infinite wisdom defines normal as "conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm; not abnormal;" Society defines the norms with fashion and whatnot and one goes through life knowing what the 'standard' is for oneself be it defined in terms of sex or background or whatever. This tells me that I should be feminine and (here I get this 'oh, know' feeling that this will be a politically correct/incorrect blog about feminism or something-when really it is just one long uninterrupted ramble). But now I have been interrupted. My roommate just got back in. So off for now.