I feel like I need a moment or perhaps a day. I may just need to go “offline” for a bit. I would rather spend a day with one of my good male friends, hanging out and getting hugs. It is times like these that I find my indestructibility faltering. I think that I have made enemies, not in the sense that they will try to kill me if they see me, but they definitely hold a grudge against me and I’m sure if they had the opportunity they would love to make my life harder for me.
I have met 14 guys from online and this last week I have met some that were more unusual than most. I believe I have been exposed to the type that I would define as “closet asshole.” They will lie to your face to get what they want and when they don’t get it, the real person inside comes out and gives you what for. They have chips on their shoulders and have pronounced opinions about who people are. It’s your basic self-fulfilling prophecy in action. I have been out with guys who have called me names, made racist comments about me, called me ugly, closed minded, dissed my mother, dissed my school, dissed my lifestyle, etc.
I will just be stronger and better equipped to handle the next disaster. Yet, perhaps number 15 will be the one that satisfies all levels in a relationship and is truly who they say they are in action.
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